This is the 99th song in the Key of Awesome series.

Description Edit

Taylor Swift channels her petty rage into another pop gem.

Cast Edit



  • Taylor Swift - Sarah Gregory

Lyrics Edit


We're really awkward assassins

We mostly care about fashion

Selena looks like an infant

Should we be letting her do stunts?




Hey! Ok!

Here's the facts, you broke your back

That's right

In the future we have doctors who can rap

And I got a PHD from MIT, and several shiny plaques


Lena Dunham, that's my stogie give it back

I don't mean to criticize you, just like to notify you

That if you don't gain muscle tone or meat on your bones

We'll have to fire you

We need assassins with a passion for jackin' people up

Not a bunch of skinny white chicks who keep fixin' their makeup


Promoting gun violence while batting my eyelids is my new jam!

We're a division of Revlon

We test make up and weapons

And I'm besties with Dunham

Who likes to show her tattooed buns

Please put your pants back on

We have rules here at Revlon

Hey, there's Ellie Goulding

She should look where she's shooting




Remember when you bought this stupid whip?

Uh huh

And I advised you not to purchase it

'Cause it don't matter if it's see-through if they can still see you

Take it back to the invisible dealership and ask for a redo

We just look like we are floating in a sitting position

And the check engine light is on, check the invisi-transmission

'Cause an invisible car's no place for Kendrick Lamar

So let me out of it, please

Don't tell me you lost the invisible keys



My voice is grating, shrill and irritating

Just like two seals mating

I'm an eighty pound badass, so don't mess with my flat ass

You know I could've played Katniss

I'm a much better actress

I love feuding and trash talk

I'm a skinny white Tupac