Key of Awesome #67
1D's new director is giving them a lot more than just one direction...
Oh I'm just tryin' to make it to the beauty salon
Get out of my way I gotta get my nails done
Gonna get my eye brows threaded
Then I'll get a funky skunky stripe put on my head
Oh peeka-peeka-boo, where did I come from?
Looks like he gave birth to me from his skunk bum
Hey fellas could you stop the bike up at the light?
l think I'm feelin' motorcycle sick
You're not as cute as these other two
So let's just move you there
Now mince about, and act as though you're having fun
He only gives us one di-rec-tion
Now run from the waaaaaaaaaaaave
I need more hair spraaaaaaaaay!
This wanker is a sad old man
He's got us dressed like old man bands
Can we take a breaaaaaaaak?
No bloody waaaaaay!
Now put on swimsuits
Aw, c'mon! We're quite pasty!
We've yet to develop muscles!
Oh, this one director won't ever let us leave
You can leave as soon as you hit puberty
Come on mate, its cold in here, look over here
Harry's crying frozen tears
Well they tell us we're like Elvis back when he was a kid
I hope we don't die on the toilet like he did
Someone let me off the ride, I'm dying inside
This is the worlds smallest violin
Let's have you twoooo
Remove those sailor suits
And dress like prostitutes, yeah
The saddest part is we're not getting paid that much
They never even buy us lunch
And that's not faaaaaaaaair
How is my haaaaair?
Now put on these assless chaps
I bought them at the Assless Gap
Let's do 50 Shaaaaaaades of Graaaaay
And let him hit you
Here's a tissue
I just tricked you
I made you sniff glue
Now let me fist you
DIRECTOR Ha ha ha ha I'm just kidding Just checking if you were listening Let's go hillbiilly hand fishing
Now lets do the ending from Broke Back Mountain
HARRY I think I'm starting to have fun
DIRECTOR Try to make him staaaaay And that's when you say
HARRY AND LOUIS I wish I could quit you.